BRAD AND ANGELINA TIE THE KNOT

See my latest blog on the American Fertility Association website:

BRAD AND ANGELINA TIE THE KNOT Posted: 02 Sep 2014 12:34 PM PDT

The AFA Blog

---

I’m not one of those people who swoon over actors and actresses or even follow entertainment news. However, when the marriage of Brad and Angelina was announced,  I had to watch to see how the media would identify their children......more Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

COOKING SHOWS

I don’t watch much TV, but I love cooking shows – the ones without nastiness and competition. By the end of my work day, the last thing I want to see is people being mean to each other or fighting over anything. I want to be entertained. I want to relax. I want to learn something unrelated to the work I do every day. Hence – food shows.

I like the ones that travel the US showing you regional foods and restaurants; that calmly show you how to make wholesome foods; that flash back to “oldies but goodies” and that provide shortcuts for those weeknight meals. I have learned a lot. I know how to prepare some items on the weekend and have them ready for weekday dinners. I know how to make sauces (tomato, pesto and more) that freeze for later use. I learned how to make pickles and salad dressings. I know what is in my food. And, it’s cheaper than buying pre-made in the store.

I have been asked by friends and parents how to get vegetables into small children. When my kids were young, they were not fans of “green” foods (celery, zucchini, broccoli or green peppers). They didn’t like red foods (carrots or red peppers). They would eat pasta and rice with butter and salt – if I had let them. Not the most nutritious foods on the planet. So I created vegetable purees that I added to other dishes. HOW TO: Steam vegetable with a little bit of water, then blend (with a bit of liquid) into a smooth puree. Use immediately or freeze in ice cube trays. Add to other dishes and sauces EXAMPLE – Add purees of onion, carrot, zucchini and pepper to chopped meat for hamburgers, meatballs or meatloaf (with bread crumbs, egg and garlic, salt and pepper). Add onion, carrot and peppers to tomato sauce, etc.

When my kids were young, I would add vegetable purees of all sorts to soup, chili and fruit smoothees. (Your kids will eat them if they don’t see them.)  As they grew, I moved from purees to small diced vegetables. Now, they eat salad and vegetables on a regular basis. 

I am not the most adventurous of eaters. I stick with what I know and try new things every once in a while. Cooking shows give me new ideas every day. I record the ones I like and watch at my leisure. I continue to experiment and add the easy and delicious ones to my repertoire.

I have passed my quick and simple recipes for kids and adults on to friends and am teaching my daughters to cook, as they move out on their own. Simple and easy traditions from a mother to daughter; friend to friend. I admit when I got a recipe off line or on TV, would add my own twists and tastes based on my family’s likes and preferences.

Cooking shows relax me. They teach me. They make me feel good inside. They allow me to share myself with others. Those are all good things. 

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

I WILL NEVER FORGET

Where did the time go? I adopted my daughters in 1987 and 1991. Seems like yesterday.

I remember when each  was placed in my arms. It seemed so unreal. This was what they called adoption. It was working. It was a miracle. I was to be a mom.

I still remember the months of worry and feeling it was not meant to be. But there I was – responsible for these little beings. I was overwhelmed with love. I was in awe of the birth mothers who made this possible. I was so thankful to the attorneys and agencies and social workers who helped make the dream come true. I was so proud of being a mom.

Both times, I couldn’t wait to get back to New York and share my daughter – MY DAUGHTER – with my own mom and dad, my sister and her husband, my friends and community. It was back in New York, in my own home, that it became so real.

Almost 27 years have passed. I still remember those early days. I can see the rooms where I met my daughters.  I can see the faces and tears in my parents’ and sister’s eyes as they met their grandchild and niece for the first time. I remember the congratulations from friends and surprised neighbors. Those memories never go away.

Mostly, I remember how deeply I wanted to be a mother. How I thought it was not meant to be, but gave trust in the system of adoption.  And now, I cannot remember a day without my daughters.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

THERE IS NO REASON TO FEAR THE ADOPTION HOME STUDY VISIT

Catch my latest blog on Adoption.net

As an adoptive mother and social worker who does adoption home studies, I see the process from both sides.

When I adopted, I resented someone coming into my home and seeing if I was qualified to be a parent. If I could get pregnant, no one would ask questions, review my medical history or look at my finances. But here I was, trying to prove to someone that I was a good person and fit to parent.

Much to my surprise, the homestudy went better than I thought it would........More

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

DOWN TIME: SITTING IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

There I was waiting to be seen and feeling anxious. Not because of the appointment, but because I had so many other things to do. And then I remembered the most important one was to stop and take care of myself.

As a mother (a working mom to boot) I am part of an ever increasing group of women who put everyone and everything else first. I worry about everyone else in my family eating right and getting enough sleep. I make sure they all keep their doctor’s appointments. I encourage them to take a vacation, make time for friends and pursue hobbies.

But me – well that’s another story. I always feel like I am on a treadmill, running from one task to the next – one place to the other. I seem to remember there is an off switch, but can’t bring myself to push it. My down time consists of cooking healthy meals, shopping for ingredients and other household needs, and taking the dog to the vet. Wait !!! That’s not down time. Let’s try again – my down time involves baking, sharing a meal with family or friends (not always restful) and reading (which is frequently done in 30 minute intervals on the subway on the way to work). I love sleeping – although often my dreams are of work and life related and very real – so not always rejuvenating or down time. Truly, my down time has become watching a favorite TV show, doing a crossword or jigsaw puzzle and writing this blog.

Life gets in the way. Work to be done, family to check in on (visits, calls and emails) and pets to care for. My parents raised me to be responsible, confident and independent. I am a hard worker and my work ethic is strong. I am a good friend.  I go to the doctor and dentist when needed. Not always as quickly as I should, but I get there. I encourage all my friends to take care of themselves and get frustrated when they don’t.  I can do this. If I don’t take care of myself, who will?

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

Some Days I Love My Work

Some days I love my work. When someone gets a referral for a child from overseas. When a baby is placed with a family. When I can be truly helpful to someone starting the adoption process or having a rough day as a parent. Today was one of those days.

It started off pretty normal. I was talking to a few families who called to start their Homestudy and answered a myriad of questions about paperwork and what they should expect from me, their attorney or placing agency. It   continued with filing, writing letters, making more calls and answering emails. Then I got one of "those calls".

A family who had waited almost 2 years for a referral called with be news they had received a photo and history of a little girl. They were ecstatic. I was thrilled. If seemed a perfect match. But they had questions, concerns and a lot of "what ifs".  We spoke for a while and divided who to ask what. They felt better.

This is why I do what I do. To help people adopt. To help them wait out the wait. Figure out what they need to know and whom to ask. To prepare as best they can and be the best parent they can be.

Yes, some days I love my work.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com

INTRODUCTION TO THE ADOPTION MAVEN

August 1, 2014

Deciding to blog was not an easy one for me. But after a lot of encouragement from family, friends and colleagues - here goes. 

I am an adoptive mother with daughters, aged 23 and 26, who joined my family at 5 and 22 days of age. I have lived the joys and challenges of motherhood with the complexity of adoption sprinkled in.

I am a social worker, who after working for several child welfare agencies, the New York City Department of Education, Veteran's Administration and the Multiple Sclerosis Society - opened a private practice, as I prepared for motherhood, wanting flexibility to be able to spend more time with my children. I started doing Adoption Homestudies in 1986 and became the director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA in March 1992. Receiving the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute “Angels in Adoption” award in 2011 was an honor.

I have seen a lot in the 22 years as an adoption professional. Changes to regulations and laws. More oversight of professional practices and international procedures. Increasing awareness and arrangements for open adoptions. More focus on training professionals to be able to provide information, support and clinical services to anyone touched by adoption. 

I have created a Professional Adoption Training Institute in New York City and reached out to clinicians, religious and community leaders to sensitize them to the needs of adoptive families. I have presented to pre-adoptive parents and those living as adoptive families at conferences across the United States.

I am an advocate for ethical adoption practice. I believe not only birth parents, adoptive parents and their children deserve to be treated with kindness, respect and dignity but that their extended families are entitled to information, guidance and support, as well.

Over the years I have answered thousands of questions about adoption and adoptive parenting. I have blogged on various sites for those adopting or experiencing fertility issues. I have written pieces on changes in adoption regulations and specific information on homestudy processes, searching and reunion and more. It is always my practical parenting advice that gets the most response. And so, that is what my blog will address.  

I hope the information is helpful and makes each day a little easier. Welcome to my world.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com