Saturday, May 16, 2015
Longer days, time in the park and, oh my, those pregnant bellies all over the place.
I remember the days of dreading to go out. Of seeing those women ready to pop. I was struggling with how I was ever going to have a baby and there they were in all their glory. I tried to be happy for them. Knew the joy of what it meant to want to be a mother, but was overcome with the sadness and longing to be a mom myself. When possible, I even avoided family and friend’s functions where babies would be present.
However, once I decided to adopt, things started to change. I still noticed every pregnant woman and baby. Only now, I felt that I too could one day have a baby of my own. Sure, I wondered if adoption would work – but I believed it would. I hummed the song “Somewhere Out There” and felt in my soul that the day would come when I would be a mom. I was lucky. I adopted twice - 3 ½ years apart…. two beautiful baby girls.
And, suddenly the world turned upside down. I loved being a mom and didn’t mind seeing those pregnant women or babies in the park or at the mall. I knew the joy, as well as sleepless nights, that awaited them. I could hardly remember the time of my sadness and longing. My days were filled with feeding, diapering, playing, singing, smiling and trying to get some sleep.
Over the years, I have loved the sounds of Spring. When kids, pent up all too long for the winter, raced into the parks and playgrounds and filled the air with their joy. When parents coaxed them into and out of jackets and sweaters. When kids waited impatiently for the summer sprinklers to be turned on, so they could run through the cool water spray.
Mothers watch their kids develop new skills - swinging from monkey bars, legs pumping higher on the swings and constructing sand box creations showing new artistic leanings. They talk to one another, share parenting tips and recipes and schedule playdates. New friendships are formed for both kids and mothers.
Now a grandmother, I still like watching kids play in the park. I like watching toddlers taking their first steps, savoring their first swing or slide ride and squealing with delight. I like watching the social skills and friendships develop between young children. I find the comraderie of the parents encouraging. There is such hope and promise filling those parks and playgrounds.
I may not be as fast running after my grandson, as I did my girls but being a grandmother has it's great moments too. Listening to the laughter and glee from children is one of them.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.