EARLY QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
It is important
to give thought to the building or enlarging of your family through adoption. After
deciding on the age of the child you are seeking to adopt, determine how much
background information will make you comfortable and whether you can travel to
meet your child. The answers to these simple questions will help to shape your
adoption journey.
ADOPTING
DOMESTICALLY
In the United States, children
are adopted privately or through the foster care system.
A private adoption, sometimes called an independent or agency
adoption, involves the prospective adoptive parent being an active participant
in the adoption process. The majority of children adopted through this type of option
are newborn. You choose an attorney or adoption agency to work with. They will
handle various parts of the legal process and, depending on the state you
reside in, may help to locate a birth situation or child for you. In other
situations, you will actively seek a birth parent through advertising, Internet
postings and word-of-mouth networking. You can do this yourself or hire an
adoption consultant to do the outreach campaign for you. Prior to starting the
adoption process, you will need to complete an Adoption Homestudy in your home
state, which consists of a social worker visiting your home and submission of
documents including child abuse and criminal clearances.
Children, from newborn through 17
years of age, can be adopted through the foster
care system. You start by contacting
your local social service agency. They typically
invite you to an orientation meeting and if you wish to proceed will complete
your Adoption Homestudy, provide adoptive parent training and match you with a
child. You may also be able to adopt a child in foster care from another state.
After an initial adjustment period, decisions are made about proceeding with
the adoption.
Whichever option you choose, private or foster care, you will work
with an attorney and/or agency to complete the legal finalization of the
adoption. You will complete a series of visits with your local social worker
(Post Placement Supervisory Visits) and a finalization hearing will take place
either in your home state or where the child was born.
ADOPTING
INTERNATIONALLY
While the numbers of children and
countries open for adoption change periodically, there are children being
adopted overseas every day.
International adoption has four
components. You need to work with an accredited or approved agency or
individual (Adoption Service Provider) who has a program in the country from
which you want to adopt, complete an agency Adoption Homestudy, apply through U.S.
immigration (USCIS), and comply with the adoption process in the country from
which you are adopting.
Once you have immigration
approval as an adoptive parent, your agency will start the process to match you
with a child overseas. Each country has its own rules and regulations for
adoption, its own guidelines for the type and ages of children available for
international adoption, and its own timeline for referrals and the actual in-country
adoption process.
Your agency will discuss with you
the age and background of children available to you. If there are age
restrictions based on your age, your agency will inform you of the age of a
child you are eligible to adopt. Once there is a referral for you, you will get
the background and current condition of the child. You will have an opportunity
to have the medical and social background reviewed by medical experts in the United States U.S.
AFTER
FINALIZATION
You have now started or enlarged
your family through adoption. You are adjusting to parenting and, perhaps, the
complexities of a multicultural family. Reach out to an adoptive family group
(in person or online) so you and your child have a network of peers and
families formed through adoption.
COMMUNITY
Welcoming a child into the new
family may include a welcoming celebration. The inclusion of family, friends
and community members helps the adoptive family feel they are among friends and
begins the child’s journey into their community.
CONCLUSION
Adoptive families are thriving in
the United States. Newborns and older children are finding permanent homes with
parents who are living their dreams. As I counsel singles and couples on
adoption options, conduct adoption homestudies and provide practical guidance
on living as an adoption family, I am continually answering questions and
sharing in the challenges and joys adoptive parenting can bring. Being prepared
for the adoption process, as well as knowing how your family, friends and
community can support you and your child will make your journey to parenthood smoother.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and adopted persons, as well as trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and is currently a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood, Adoption Professional Advisory Council of HelpUSAdopt and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York. Her blogs and written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including her BLOG and as Head Writer for ADOPTION.NET She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly at EMAIL
