DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

Why we need to be moving time, back an hour in the fall and up an hour in the spring, escapes me. While I understand the concept of children traveling to school in the daylight – living in New York City – it is less of an issue.

As a result of this time shifting parameter, I am having trouble keeping my eyes open by 9:30 pm and waking by 6:30 am.

Getting up so early is a throwback to when my younger daughter was a baby. She was an early riser. While this is common for most babies, my older daughter didn’t go to bed for the night until sometime between midnight and 2 am and then slept until 10 am. I was used to this schedule. Even as a toddler, she slept until 9 am, unless we had to get up and out in the morning.

So when my younger daughter joined the family and was up at 6:30 am, it was a big adjustment for me. But I loved that we both would be able to spend a few hours together before her sister got up for the day. My mom said, this was the same for her with me and my older sister. She was a late sleeper. Then I came along and was up at 6. Mom adjusted, too.

So here I am, waking at 6:25 am as if there was a baby in the house. Only there is not. There is just me (and Rocco, the dog). Even he gave me a funny look this morning. And, as most dogs do, went right back to sleep.

Me, I’m up for the day with my memories of getting up early in the past. Of no matter how exhausted I was, this is what I had dreamed of. Of remembering the days I was unsure this would happen. Of the day we were chosen by a birth mother. Of waiting for the birth of my girls. Of worrying, wishing and hoping. Of meeting my daughters for the first time. Of waiting for the Interstate Compact to approve us going back to New York. Of counting the days until we could finalize the adoption

I am thinking about those early days of watching them develop each new skill, amazed as they outgrew infant size onesies and needed larger diapers. I can see them learning to sit, crawl, walk, run, jump and skip. I remember them cooing, speaking words, sentences and telling stories. I watched them play alone, with peers and start school. I watched their personalities develop and their intellect expand. I encouraged them to try new things and supported their choices.

Being up so early has a benefit after all. Brings back so many memories.  By birth or adoption - I was, and still am a proud mom.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

FALLING LEAVES AND MEMORES

The temperature has consistently been dropping, ending in a week of those cool, crisp days of Fall. With the first chilly nights, the leaves have turned the most amazing shades of gold, orange, maroon and red. Lawns are covered with the  fallen leaves and we have not yet begun to rake them into bags for the annual pick-up. This is my favorite time of year.

This morning, I watched a family of squirrels collecting food for the winter. Our lawn has been covered with acorns and black walnuts for several weeks now. We wondered why the squirrels had not started hoarding. Was it the confusion of the unseasonable warmer days before the weather changed, or perhaps the fact that we had never seen so many on the ground at one time  and their not being able to keep up with the supply?

My girlfriend told me someone in Maine told her it was going to be a cold and hard winter. How did they know? Because there were so many acorns on the ground. I refuse to believe that. But there are an unusually large number of nuts underfoot. And, it has gotten very cold awfully fast. My mother  mentions we can have snow before Thanksgiving. My daughter, who lives upstate, saw snowflakes about a week ago. Out West, they have already had several storms with accumulating snow. I could do without winter’s snow and ice and freezing wind.

But it is Fall now and this is the time of the year that I like the most. Take this morning for example. The dogs and I went for our usual morning walk. Only this time, we crunched our way through the fallen leaves.  I love that sound. And as we walked, I  caught a glimpse into my past. It was a vivid as yesterday, although it happened about 20 years ago. My daughters had raked all the leaves into a pile – about 4 feet high. And then – they dove in!!! The squeals of delight were palpable; the leaves flying in every direction as they threw them into the air. Even all these years later, I can see and hear them that day. I still smile at the memory.

And I wonder. If my daughters had grown up where they were born, in the homes and families they were born into – would they have had piles of leaves to play in? Would they even have had a Fall season as we do? Would they know snow? Probably not. Their lives would have been different. Not only because of weather driven activities, but because everything would have been different. My life would have been different, too.

So this morning, as I reminisce about the past, I revel in the difference adoption made in my life. Because out there, somewhere, two brave women made a decision that changed all of our lives. It made for memories. It made me a mom.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.