ONE PROUD MOTHER

I’m very proud of my children. But today, it’s not for the usual things like doing well in school, treating others with respect and kindness or being the best human beings they can be. What I’m proud of today is the fact that my children have friends of all nationalities, all religions and all ethnic backgrounds.

Over the years I’ve noticed the type of children that my kids played with. They were usually the quieter kind, who included others in their activities. They have always included children of diverse backgrounds. Now even in their 20s, I see their friends remain diverse.

In this day and age, when there are so many factions in our society and so many people seeming to remain within their own social, economic, cultural and religious groups I am proud of my kids. They don’t see color, financial status or other differences. They befriend people who are kind, respectful,  treat others well and make themselves available to one another, when needed.

Color does not separate my children from other people. What I do notice is that politics seems to be the major factor. My children do know those who do not believe as they do, and try not to discuss politics when in their presence. This would include such topics as gun-control, the LGBTQ community and religious issues. My girls don’t really understand why people can be so adamant in believing the opposite of what they do. Because as most young adults, my girls believe what they think should be the way of the world.

However, my girls are respectful of others opinions even though they don’t agree with them. They were taught that everyone has a right to their own beliefs as long as they don’t impose them on others. This makes me proud as a mother…. That they can recognize that not everyone believes as our family does, but are willing to allow them to have those beliefs and, yet, still be able to relate to them on an everyday level.

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that they feel this way. We live in a very diverse community in New York City with almost every culture and race within a few blocks. That’s what happens when you live near a big university in a big city. I grew up in this neighborhood and was thrilled that I had a chance to raise my children here, as well. They went to schools with a diverse student and teacher population, as well as summer camps that reflected the same.

In addition, as they grew up I, too, had a diverse group of friends. I encouraged my children to do the same. To get to know different people, not make initial rash judgments and then to choose with whom they wanted to spend more time. Hanging out with other adopted families helped, as well. Many families had adopted across cultural and racial lines.

So, as I watch my daughters interact with their adult friends, I love seeing the diversity, catching snippets of their conversations and watching them navigate these relationships. From one mother to another, some days I just can’t help being prouder of my kids than others.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, on the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001, Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.