This is the time of year that I would be buying school supplies and new school clothes for my girls. We'd be stocking up on portable snacks and beverages for lunch boxes and anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new class lists and assigned teachers. And, while I have not done this in many years, I am glad I don't have to make any decisions about school for this 2020 academic year
I live in New York City. The COVID rate has dropped dramatically and they keep pushing back date for schools to open. Yet most people I know are still cocooning in their own homes, venturing out only when necessary - not ready to risk close contact situations.
I have not physically seen any friends or family since March. Facetime and Zoom, although frequent, are starting to feel insufficient. I understand the importance of social interactions, especially for children, and so, the pull of in-person school classes is palpable. But is it worth possible exposure of the virus not only to the child, but to their household members as well?
The decision to send your child to school or to teach remotely or a combination of both is a personal one. You need to decide what is best for you, your child, and your family. As your child's social interactions increase, there is not only a risk to being exposed to COVID, but of hearing about sick or dying people.
I was asked recently -- "How would I explain the death of a peer’s parent by COVID to an adopted child?" The answer is simple, yet complicated. The death of any parent is traumatic and devastating With an adopted child, relating to the birth mother, it is the loss of yet another parent. That makes it a more complicated loss and requires some special attention. First, reassure them you are healthy, and your home life is stable. You will need to solidify the story of how your child came to live with you. That it was a purposeful decision and in their best interest. That you plan to go nowhere, but IF at any time they could not live with you, tell them who would care for them. And, if you have not already made a plan, do so now.
Adoption leads to many complexities in everyday life. Discussions that you might have with any child, have an added layer related to how they joined the family and the family they left behind. Don't be afraid to answer questions or even start these talks. And remember, I am here to help, if you need me.
