Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Everyone seems to be choosing sides these days. It’s either too hot or too cold; too many or not enough and, of course, the political sides. It has me thinking about birth and adoptive parents.
Why do so many feel the need to side with one or the other? Both sets of parents will always be a part of the child. Both set of parents will forever blend nature and nurture. Both sets of parents will be concerned about a child’s well-being. Are these different sides or a continuation?
During the adoption process, birth and adoptive parents are asked to consider if they want to maintain contact with one another and, if so, what will that contact be like. Many choose to share photos and letters. More and more are agreeing to text, talk, video chat and even meet periodically. And while some choose to have no ongoing contact after the child is placed into the new home, birth and adoptive parents need to be cognizant of the need to work together at times to keep the child’s best interests at heart.
It would be well to remember that no matter what type or amount of contact the birth and adoptive parents decide upon, it will be the child, as he/she grows and matures, who most likely will set the frequency and type of contact they desire.
While birth and adoptive parents are often seen as opposite sides of an adoption process, the focus of an adoption is to provide a child with a nurturing and loving home. Everyone should join together to make that happen.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and adopted persons, as well as trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood, She is currently a Adoption Professional Advisory Council of HelpUSAdopt , a member of the Advisory Board of the Family Equality Council and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York. Her blogs and written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including her BLOG and as Head Writer for ADOPTION.NET She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly EMAIL