Tuesday, February 17, 2015



I was never one to speak out on my own behalf. But once my kids arrived – the Mama Bear came out in me. No one messed with them. No one treated them as less than. No one would ever make them feel “less than” because they were adopted.

. I remember meeting an old colleague on the street when my kids, who were with me, were about 4 and 7 years old. She said “I heard you adopted. Are these your adopted kids?” I was caught off guard. How dare she be so bold. I looked at my kids, whom I felt I needed to protect, and responded “Actually, I am their adoptive mom.” She didn’t know what to say. I then said, something about sorry, but we have somewhere to be and off we went.

Later that night I spoke to the kids. I told them I had once worked with the woman, but had not seen her in years. That I didn’t like the way she just came up to me and asked about them. That I didn’t call them my “adopted” kids. They were my kids. “forever and always”.

The girls listened but seemed unaffected. Maybe they were too young to understand. But I knew from that day forward I would have some planned answers. I would know when to answer a specific question, educate someone on adoption, state the information was private, or just walk away.

I remain a Mama Bear and it has paid off. I see my daughters standing up for themselves. Not just with adoption, but in so many other ways. This Mama Bear is a proud mama.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She has been Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA since 1992. You can follow her at www.theadoptionmaven.blogspot.com or email her at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com