The birds were chirping in the mornings and the crocuses were pushing up through the soil. Then things changed. One day it’s almost 70 degrees with a balmy breeze and the next it’s 30 and windy and blustery. I never know how many layers to wear, if I need gloves or a scarf, or if I should take an umbrella.
All this uncertainty, reminds me of motherhood. Although I thought I knew what would happen next, there was always the unexpected. There were the days one of my daughters hit a milestone, said a new word, strung a few together, ran instead of walked, made a new friend or succeeded in a new sport or activity. And there were days that were not so memorable. Then there were the times I learned new things about myself - that I could do a lot without much sleep, that I was able to create fun activities and imaginative play scenes on a rainy day and that I could hide vegetables in all sorts of imaginative ways in soups, stews and cookies. Something new would always pop up, one day was never like another.
This also makes me think of the adoption process itself. I would prepare for one scenario and another would arise. When I thought all the paperwork was done, another document would be needed. Talking to and meeting birthparents, although I was nervous, turned out to be not as daunting as I had imagined. Believing a situation was a good one would be met with disappointment. Traveling and staying in a hotel actually gave us time to bond without the interference of everyday life back in New York.
Guess I have been rained upon, blown by the wind and have had to ebb and flow with the times, but I have also seen the sunshine. While I didn’t feel it at the time, the unexpected has strengthened me as a person. I learned to be more flexible and to adapt more quickly. I learned that things somehow work out.
After all the ups and downs - adoption brought me two wonderful daughters.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.
