You
made the decision to parent and now find yourself looking into adoption. The
more you read and talk to people, the more excited you become. However, you
still have some concerns.
You
will need the assistance of others to make your family dreams come true. This
includes social workers, lawyers, courts and other professionals. Your choice
of who will be on your professional team is critical.
Your
adoption team should include an adoption attorney and/or a licensed adoption
agency, a homestudy social worker and a medical consultant to review pre-natal,
hospital and/or medical or orphanage records. Many families find adding a
professional, as well as having a peer group of other adopting and adoptive
parents who can help you through the challenges of the process and of parenting.
You
may find your attorney, agency or social worker through a referral of a friend
or other adoptive family or on the Internet. They will answer your questions,
explain the process and detail the services they will provide. You need to ask
them about their experience with the type of adoption you are doing, costs and
time frames. You can check them out through local adoption support groups, the
American Academy of Adoption Attorneys or state adoption licensing offices.
Since
you will receive advice and ongoing guidance from them throughout the legal
adoption process, you must trust that they have your best interest at heart,
are knowledgeable about the type of adoption you are doing and are ethical.
While
every state and country has specific requirements and regulations, every
adoption agency and attorney works a bit differently. Some provide more hand
holding, other just do specific tasks.
After
confirming they can assist you (within your state guidelines), you may
ultimately choose them by a leap of faith, feeling that they are the right
people to help you achieve your dream
You
will work with a social worker during the homestudy and post placement phases
of the adoption process. The homestudy is the pre-adoption assessment of you
and you home in preparation to adopt. The post adoption phase includes the
social worker revisiting you once your child is placed and writing reports that
reflect your and your child’s adjustment. All reports are used at various
points in the adoption process by attorneys, courts, adoption agencies in the
US and agencies, courts and federal agencies in an international adoption.
As
you parent, you can choose to seek additional support from your social worker
or adoption agency. There may be questions about initial adjustments,
especially with a non-infant. Children who have moved from one home or
institution to your home will have reactions to new routines, foods, smells,
languages and caretakers. Some children can get overwhelmed quickly. Without
expressive language, their behavior may seem out of the ordinary or they may
not be responding to you as you would like.
As
you and your child adjust to one another (it is a two-way street), there may be
additional questions you have. Perhaps it is when to talk about adoption, how
to handle comments from others, how to help your child deal with peers at
school or when to adopt again. Your social worker is a great resource for
information or referral to local services. While some parents are fearful of
sharing concerns or questions with those who helped with the adoption, these people
know you best and have seen your transition to parenthood or a larger family.
During
the process, trust your instincts regarding those helping you and any
information they present to you. Ask questions, continue to read about and
explore the adoption process and parenting.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New
Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption
practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has
prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents,
parents-to-be and adopted persons, as well as trained professionals to work
with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA,
a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series, currently a member of
the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive
Parents Committee in New York. Her blogs and written contributions can be seen
at her BLOG and as Head Writer for ADOPTION.NET She was named an “Angel in Adoption”
by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly
at EMAIL
