HOW IS EVERYONE DOING?

After 9/11, there were many questions about the well-being of adoptive parents and children living in New York City. Birth parents were reaching out directly and through attorneys and agencies to find out if everyone was okay. They were not asking for more contact than they had previously. Just to be reassured that their child and the family was well.

COVID-19 and the recent protests bring about similar concerns, only this time, it includes people not just in New York City, but all over our country. Are birth and adoptive parents well? Are the children safe? How has life changed?

For those who are in touch with one another, either through text, email, phone calls or in-person meetings, this offers another opportunity to check-in and reassure one another. For those who never had “after placement” contact or who may have lost touch over the years, this poses a different issue.

There is an inherent understanding in adoptions that the arrangement was in the best interest of all (the child, the birth family and the adoptive family). So, knowing how the people  who made this decision fared during this crisis  will help in telling the child's story, whether now or in the future

You are all one extended family, who may not see one another or even communicate with one another, but are connected through the child. Thinking about one another and wondering how everyone is doing occurs throughout the year, especially around holidays, birthdays, and placement days. Some of you reach out to one another.  Others of you do not even have that option.

Will reaching out now change the pattern of contact? Will finding out everyone is okay relieve your anxiety? What do you do if you get some troubling news

These are not normal times. Do what your heart tells you to do and just know that I and others are here to help.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared  thousands of adoption  homestudies, counseled  expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and  adopted  persons, as  well  as trained  professionals  to  work  with  adoptive  families. She  was Director of the  Ametz  Adoption  Program of  JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption  Series and the  Adoption  Advisory  Board  of  Path2Parenthood, She is currently a  Adoption   Professional   Advisory  Council  of  HelpUSAdopt , a member of the Advisory Board of the Family Equality Council and  active  in  the  Adoptive Parents Committee in  New  York.  Her  blogs  and  written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including  her  BLOG  and  as  Head  Writer  for  ADOPTION.NET   She  was  named  an  “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly.