BACK TO SCHOOL 2020

This is the time of year that I would be buying school supplies and new school clothes for my girls. We'd be stocking up on portable snacks and beverages for lunch boxes and anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new class lists and assigned teachers. And, while I have not done this in many years, I am glad I don't have to make any decisions about school for this  2020 academic year

I live in New York City. The COVID rate has dropped dramatically and they keep pushing back  date for schools to open. Yet most people I know are still cocooning in their own homes, venturing out only when necessary  - not  ready to risk close contact situations.

I have not physically seen any friends or family since March. Facetime and Zoom, although frequent, are starting to feel insufficient. I understand the importance of social interactions, especially for children, and so, the pull of  in-person school classes is palpable. But is it worth possible exposure of the virus not only to the child, but to their household members as well?

The decision to send your child to school or to teach remotely or a combination of both is a personal one. You need to decide what is best for you, your child, and your family. As your child's social interactions increase, there is not only a risk to being exposed to COVID, but of hearing about sick or dying people.

I was asked recently -- "How would I explain the death of a peer’s parent by COVID to an adopted child?" The answer is simple, yet complicated. The death of any parent is traumatic and devastating  With an adopted child, relating to the birth mother, it is the loss of yet another parent. That makes it a more complicated loss and requires some special attention.  First, reassure them you are healthy, and your home life is stable. You will need to solidify the story of how your child came to live with you. That it was a purposeful decision and in their best interest. That you plan to go nowhere, but IF at any time they could not live with you, tell them who would care for them. And, if you have not already made a plan, do so now.

Adoption leads to many complexities in everyday life. Discussions that you might have with any child, have an added layer related to how they joined the family and the family they left behind. Don't be afraid to answer questions or even start these talks. And remember, I am here to help, if you need me.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared  thousands of adoption  homestudies, counseled  expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and  adopted  persons, as  well  as trained  professionals  to  work  with  adoptive  families. She  was Director of the  Ametz  Adoption  Program of  JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption  Series and the  Adoption  Advisory  Board  of  Path2Parenthood, She is currently on the Adoption   Professional   Advisory  Council  of  HelpUSAdopt , a member of the Advisory Board of the Family Equality Council and  active  in  the  Adoptive Parents Committee in  New  York.  Her  blogs  and  written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including  her  BLOG  and  as  Head  Writer  for  ADOPTION.NET   She  was  named  an  “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly.