CREATING YOUR ADOPTION PROFILE

Most likely, you will spend multiple hours sorting through photos and writing and rewriting the narrative.

This is your introduction to the woman who is considering making an adoption plan.  While you will have other opportunities to share information, this is your initial chance to show her what type of family you will provide and what type of lifestyle her child will have.

Profiles may also be read by attorneys or adoption agencies who decide which families to present. Also, family members might review them as they help a pregnant woman with her decision.

Many women look at the pics first and then read the text, if they are interested in knowing more so your pics should visually depict the type of life a child would have in your home.

Be honest about yourself: Always wanted a child. Struggles to get pregnant. Truly believe parenting is most important. Love an adopted child the same as a birth child.

Empathize with her situation. Think of how you came to the decision to adopt. It most likely was not an easy one. To make an adoption plan, the expectant mother (and father) needs to grapple with their situation and decide what is best for the baby.

Your extended family and social network should be included, with their permission, in your profile. Pics of who they are and the sort of activities you do together, i.e. dinners, holiday celebrations, day trips, vacations, etc.

Show not only what you normally do or vacations you take, but what is available to children in your area - parks - playgrounds - beach – cultural assets, etc.

Include your favorite things (foods, colors, sports, movies, places, etc.) and tell her which holidays you celebrate and how.

Say that you want to know about her and her life that she would like me to share with the child and that you would like to include some of her culture or traditions in your family and lifestyle.

If you are seeking openness in the relationship during the pregnancy and/or afterwards, state what you hope for but that you will respect their wishes, if this is the case.

Add that you want to help her feel comfortable about choosing adoption and you look forward to learning more about how you can do that.

All prospective adoptive parents are different. The profile is the first introduction to a birth parent and while you want to project your best image, you need to be yourself. Do not include anything that stretches the truth, or you think it is something a birth parent might like. If there is a matter you think needs more explanation, you might want to leave it for a future conversation.

Expectant parents are also unique. They come to this decision for different reasons and have their own hopes for their child. Families I have worked with have been chosen because a birthparent liked the description of their lifestyle and/or family, or that they lived in an urban, or suburban or a rural community, or that there was lots of extended family, or just a sibling, or that there were no other children, or that their life looked like fun, or that there was a picture of a pet or particular activity. Remember expectant parents are also often worried you will not pick the

You will have many opportunities to share your hopes dream and plans for parenting. When the time is right, you will be chosen.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared  thousands of adoption  homestudies, counseled  expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and  adopted  persons, as  well  as trained  professionals  to  work  with  adoptive  families. She  was Director of the  Ametz  Adoption  Program of  JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption  Series and the  Adoption  Advisory  Board  of  Path2Parenthood, She is currently a  Adoption   Professional   Advisory  Council  of  HelpUSAdopt , a member of the Advisory Board of the Family Equality Council and  active  in  the  Adoptive Parents Committee in  New  York.  Her  blogs  and  written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including  her  BLOG  and  as  Head  Writer  for  ADOPTION.NET   She  was  named  an  “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly.