TALKING TO KIDS ABOUT ADOPTION

"Don't be afraid of the answers. Be afraid of not asking the questions".....Jennifer Hudson

What a powerful statement. This resonates throughout the work I do everyday. Adoptive parents are afraid to raise “adoption” with their children. They are afraid it will lead to more questions, for which they have no answers. They are afraid their children will not love them or that they will reject them.

I get it. I am an adoptive mom. I  have had many conversations with my daughters. Some as a result of their questions. Some when I raised an issue. Some when I asked how they felt about somethingthat they saw in a movie or on the news.

Parenting isn't easy. Your stamina, resilience and creativity are tested every day. You need to set rules, be consistent, yet be flexible and willing to think through new situations with an open mind. You  need to be vigilant. As an adoptive parent, you need to check onwhat your child is thinking and feeling about adoption 

I was always a bit nervous raising the issue of adoption. I never knew what my kids would say or how they would react. But I knew it was important to let them know I was always willing to talk about it and keep the conversation going. 

If you are honest and available to your child, they will come to you for answers and support...........and that will  bind you even closer together in the years to come.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001 and has a private practice in New York City. She is also Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She can be reached at theadoptionmaven@gmail.com