RETIREMENT AND PROMISES TO MYSELF

One of the things I vowed to do after leaving my full time job was to sleep late. Well, it is a relative term. But, having risen at 6 am for over 25 years – I was ready to sleep til at least 8 am.

It has not been an easy task. My internal clock seems to be set at rising at an early hour. I try to go to bed a bit later – but, my eyes also seem to be trained to close around 10 pm. I smile, when I think of the dog who drops in place or quietly walks away to his special place at 9:30 pm. – his bedtime. But then, he sleeps about 18 hours a day, including through the night and many naps, just waking to go for a walk, play or have a meal or snack. I do notice sometimes, he sleeps with his eyes half open as if watching what I am doing.

This sleeping all day reminds me of my girls as infants. And the sleeping with eyes (and ears) half open reminds me of me. I have slept partially alert since adopting almost 28 years ago. It’s a mom thing. It was definitely not a dad thing in my house, although he would get up if I woke him.

Back to this sleeping thing – In high school and college, I would sleep til noon, having spent half the night on the phone with my friends or watching TV  into the wee early hours. But this routine - going to bed and waking late was unusual for me.

My mom says I was an early riser as a baby. I was the one who got up at 6:30 am, while my sister could easily sleep until 10 am. My mom tells stories of how she had to revise her sleeping pattern, to wake with me. So we did get special time together before my sister got up for the day.

I had 2 daughters with a similar situation. My first daughter would go to sleep between midnight and 2 am. And rise around 10 am. When the second daughter came along, she would go to sleep by 10 pm and wake at 6 am. Took me a while to adjust.

During their school years, we were all up early. The girls getting ready for school and me for work. We were all pooped and in bed by 10 pm. Except for their teen years when they would stay up well past midnight. I was fast asleep.

I have always tried to sleep a bit later on weekends. Sometimes being wakened by a child or a dog, but usually by sunlight. Luckily, I wake up in a good mood. None of that “don’t talk to me” or stomping around as I get ready to go out for the day. At night, when I am ready for bed – I am ready. Nothing will stop my eyes from closing. Although a rough day of work, a task I was unable to complete or a family member on my mind can delay sleep or keep me up for several hours in the middle of the night.

But even this does not necessarily delay my getting up early. I have adjusted to the early hour. I like being the only one up and do accomplish a lot before anyone else wakes, but don’t like having to tiptoe around. My companion, no matter what hour, is the dog. If you read my blog, you know about him.

Rocco was given to my youngest daughter several months before she was leaving for college. We all knew she could not take him with her. We all looked at that face and big brown soulful eyes and heard the story of how my daughter was there when he was born, how he was the runt of the litter and no one wanted him and he was destined for a shelter. And, yes, I am a sap and fell for him, too. Glad I did. He is an amazing, albeit 90 pound bundle of love. How does this relate to my sleeping?

When my daughter left for school, Rocco began to sleep with me or on the couch in my bedroom. Some nights he snuggles into a good spot. Others, he insists on sleeping in the middle of the bed with his legs spread in all directions, leaving little room for me. I have to sleep like a contortionist. At 90 pounds and fast asleep, he is hard to move out of the way. On those days, I am usually up super early. And while he goes back to sleep on the cushion in my home office, I am up for the day.

Guess I am doomed to be an early riser – by genes or dogs or things I have to do. Luckily, I can set my own schedule and crawl into bed when I am ready.  Sweet dreams to all.

\Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL

AUTUMN AND THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR

The weather is changing in New York – from those hot days of summer to the cooler days of fall, which I love. Unlike many of my friends and neighbors, I like the crisper, cooler weather. But me – I like watching the leaves change color. Wearing a sweater is never a problem, and so much easier than trying to reduce clothing in the heat. I start thinking of the foods I will make as the weather drops and I don’t mind the heat from the stove or long stovetop cooking. I also am home more, so making slow cooking soups, stews or hot Italian treats is never a problem.

I also notice that somehow the noise in the City reduces as the weather cools. Maybe there are less people outside. Maybe the air quality somehow reduces the sound as it travels up towards my window. I know when it rains or snows, the sounds are muffled. One sound I do notice is that of parents pleading with their children to keep their jackets on. I remember this as if it were yesterday, although my youngest daughter is 24. We would be getting ready to go out and I was trying to get her into a sweater or jacket. She didn’t want one. It limited her mobility and movement. The compromise was that we would put it on in the lobby of the building. If, after playing for a while, she was warm, she could take it off. It always came off. But, again, she was the one who would play the lake for hours and didn’t come out until her lips turned blue.

Proving my point that children need a parent or caretaker to watch over them. To help them adjust to weather changes, clothing needs, safe activities, to eat properly and get enough sleep. I could go on and on.

As an adoptive parent, there is also a watching out for who says what and how your child reacts. Spending time with peers and their parents, whether in the playground or school things may be said. “How come you don’t look like your dad?”, “Where is your real mother?” or “Is that the child you adopted?” Starting school or a new activity this time of year, lends itself to talking about adoption and how to respond (or not) to such questions.

Even young children may find themselves in such a situation. Pre-school assignments of “How I’ve Grown” include baby pictures. What if your child doesn’t have one? Does this mean they can’t complete the assignment? Of course not. But it may open discussion of why not and how old they were when they came to live with you = adoption. Kindergarten and 1^st grade have “Who is in my Family” assignments. What if your child wants to include birth family? How will you handle this with their teacher and classmates? As kids get older, there are more chances adoption will come into play with family, genetic or homework on heritage. How would you handle your child being told to do the country study of their birth culture, not because they choose it, but because they looked a certain way? This happens.

Adoption is a part of your child, their identity and that of your family. It is doubtful, you identify yourself as an adoptive parent vs parent. Why should your child need to wear that label? But, often, when a child doesn’t look like their parent – that is just what happens.

Take a preemptive stance. Talk to your child about adoption. To let them know they have choices. They can answer a question with specific personal information, teach the one who asked about adoption in a general way, tell them they have asked a personal question that they do not feel like answering or not answer at all. Make sure your child knows it is okay and a good thing to tell you if people are asking questions or making comments. Let teachers and caretakers know your child is adopted so they can let you know if anything was said, or if an assignment may pose an issue for your child.

While, we talked about adoption throughout the year – fall was the time I privately, spoke to teachers. To just let them know about the adoption and any other pertinent facts about my daughters. A quick chat - before the first parent-teacher conferences. I would tell my daughters I was doing this and ask if they wanted to be there. They did not want any more time “in school” when they could be playing with their friends. And that was fine. I did get some calls and emails about classroom conversations and upcoming assignments. This was a good thing.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

MY FAMILY

My concept of becoming a blogger was to share my knowledge as an adoption professional and experience as an adoptive mother. But not everything relates directly to adoption. Sometimes, my thoughts are just my experiences and reactions to daily life as a human being. However, since this is an adoption related blog, I always try to find a link.

Take this weekend. My older daughter moved back to our country house in Westchester County in preparation of going back to college. She brought her clothes, shoes, riding boots (she is an equestrian), beauty supplies, books, papers and food. And, of course (here comes the adoption twist) her 2 dogs and a 15” bearded dragon.

Notice I didn’t say “adopted.”  I have written about that analogy elsewhere. I do not believe in “adopting” pets as a good explanation of how they become part of the family.  As, alas, if things don’t work out and they have to be removed from your home and family – you then have to explain the “disruption”, which may be anxiety provoking to children, thinking they too could be removed from the home because of their  behavior, allergies or changes in the family’s lifestyle. 

Both dogs came from animal shelters when they were a few months old, about 2 years apart. They have fabulous personalities and are very well behaved. The bearded dragon just came last month. She works in a veterinary hospital. One of the staff was moving and could not take the lizard with her. My daughter stepped up to the plate.

When she told me about him, all I could imagine was a komodo dragon – about 100 pounds, fast and deadly. Umm. She explained he was a small, slow moving, non-slimy lizard. Send me a picture please. Well, he is very cute, yellow, smiling (he was) and sitting on her head. Umm. I asked if that was normal. She said it was. “Where does he live?” I asked. “In a tank – but he likes being out.”

This weekend,  I met Henry...that’s his name.  He was in a small tank, kinda cute and a bit mesmerizing and I found myself watching for him to move. He suns himself, watches for movement around him, especially my daughter, and he does smile.  Then she arrived with his real tank – a 6-foot long by 2 feet high by 1 ½ foot deep lizard oasis that sits on top of a storage unit of the same dimensions. He has logs, boughs, grass, sun and night lamps, a hammock and a swimming pool. He also, came with his own live and dried food supply. Oh my.

I was not prepared for this, but we found a perfect place for him on the enclosed porch. Once again, I find myself watching him. It’s a novelty and it’s as if I am at the lizard exhibit at  the zoo.  And, then there are the dogs – her 2 and my 1 – all friendly, playful and cuddly.    But pets can come with unknown background information… like a dog with food allergies or a bearded dragon with a seasonal hormone imbalance. We met each ones needs individually and seek advice and resources, as needed. Luckily, my daughter is an animal wizard and often knows what to do. Did I mention, she also has a horse?

Ok.  So the comments about unknown history and meeting a child’s (I mean animal’s) needs sounds very much like adoption. And while it is, I still don’t like calling it an adoption. We share the story of how they (and the horse) joined our families. We don’t use the word adoption, even though some were through pet adoption programs.

We opened our homes and hearts to those in need and benefited in return. There is mutual love, respect and admiration. Our lives, and theirs, have been enriched. We are a well-blended, inter-species family.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

FOOD - THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

I spend a lot of time with my mother. This weekend is a good example. We are at our country house. We planned our getaway a week in advance. The discussion included not only when we would leave and come back, but if the dog was coming and what we should do about food.

A lot of our discussions are about food - a new recipe one of us tried or created, or which diet we are on and how that will influence eating in or going out for a meal.

Funny what pulls a family together. In our case - it is food. Every event is celebrated at a favorite restaurant or with a home cooked meal. Recipes are passed around and new cooking tips or methods shared.  It has transcended generations.

I remember my grandmother's chicken fricassee made with mini meatballs on my dad’s side and the mushroom and barley soup on my mom's side of the family.  I can taste them virtually to this day.

My mom is an amazing cook. She has made Chinese, French, American, Italian, Indian dishes and more.  She is also a fabulous baker. She can read a recipe and know what it will taste like. And while I don't like her curry dishes, others do.

Over the years, I have expanded my cooking skills and menu items. I make a mean lasagna and manicotti, tasty Chinese beef or chicken and broccoli, ribs and fried rice, juicy roast chicken with roasted potatoes and yummy beef or chicken stews. I can make tacos, burritos, roast or pulled pork, red or black beams and yellow rice. I can whip up sweet or savory crepes, donuts, biscuits and cookies in a flash. My friends think my various salads with homemade dressings are delicious. I am currently on a vegetarian eating plan.

My sister has been eating gluten free for a while. She has been sharing some of her food choices and enlightening me on the new food trend.

My younger daughter got into cooking around the age of 20. Before that, she knew how to make breakfast, but showed no real interest in learning more. Then one day, the cooking bug hit her. She started with chicken and beef stew, her two favorite dishes. Soon she was making Friday night dinner for the family. Her flavorings were delicious and inventive. Now that she's living on her own, friends are influencing her taste buds even more. She has made forays into vegan cuisine – making stews and pancakes, curry rice and tofu, Chinese dumplings and more.

My older daughter calls for a family recipe every so often - our pasta sauce, meatballs and most recently, our holiday pound cake with fresh fruit.

There is always something that ties families together. Food works for most. For adoptive families, this may include foods from a child's culture or heritage. Similarities in foods from different cultures also bond families: Chinese dumplings, kreplach, perrogies, ravioli or knishes. Pastellas, potato pancakes or mofungo. Paella, fried rice, rice and beans or risotto. Egg rolls, burritos or manicotti. Tacos, crepes or blintzes.

Think of your favorite foods and the memories they evoke. Think of the foods your family likes to eat. 

Food is a universal uniter. It can be used as a peace offering, get well expression or gift of love. Incorporating someone’s ethnic food in an event or meal is an act of acceptance and inclusion.  

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

THE DOG

It all started with my daughter being at the birth of her friend’s dog, Rocco. She was amazed and smitten. When her friend announced he was selling the puppies, I was relieved as I was NOT buying a dog. I have never bough t a dog. They have all been given to us, but that’s another story.

Rocco’s story got more complicated. One puppy was smaller than the others and needed medical attention.

Treated and healthy, his small size made him less attractive than the puppies. No one wanted him and he was to be turned over to a shelter. My daughter was heartsick. She and her friend concocted a plan. She would bring the puppy home for 2 weeks. That was over 6 years ago.

Let me backtrack. She brought the puppy home. He as amazing. A gorgeous black and white boxer. He was friendly and cuddly. He ate what we gave him, played with a few toys and slept through the night. He did have a crazy period every night at 9:30 pm, when he ran around like crazy. I later learned this was his way of discharging energy so that he could sleep.

We all fell in love with Rocco. My daughter promised to feed and walk him. I reminded her, she was leaving for college in the fall. She smiled sheepishly and asked if I would take care of him for her. I knew I was in for the long run. As he grew and became stronger, I decided either my arm would be pulled out of his socket or he would need training. I found a 6 week training program at the local PetSmart. Scott was a lifesaver. Turned out, Rocco is very smart. But, of course, I knew that. After all, every “mother” thinks her “kid” is the cutest and smartest. He learned everything quickly, and ended up the valedictorian of his class, with a cap and gown photo to prove it. I was so proud.

He walked with me, stayed, sat, shook hands/paws, dropped items he should not have and learned to “leave squirrels and birds alone. We should have worked on groundhogs and deer, as well. Those he prefers to try and play with. Ugh.

Rocco has grown into a 90 pound boxer. The runt of the litter? I would hate to see the size of his brothers and sisters. He is still cuddly, even crawling into my lap for a hug. He loves having his ears rubbed and belly scratched. He is great on long car rides and is a great watch dog, although I believe he would lick any intruder until they succumbed.

Rocco eats a lot. While he loves anything meat, wheat or dairy, he has allergies. We have been to the vet on several occasions when he broke out in hives and have limited his diet to allowed foods. While he has learned to stop begging for foods he is not allowed to eat, his sad and mournful eyes makes it hard to resist. We have sensitive skin and stomach treats available for him.

Rocco plays a lot. As a puppy, he liked chew toys and soft toys with squeakers inside. He would rip out the squeaker and then toss aside the toy. We tried fabric sleeves in which you would stuff an empty plastic water bottle. He liked the sound and we could replace the bottle when necessary. Besides, this was much cheaper than buying a new toy every week. He is now into balls – ones we buy and finding tennis balls anytime he goes for a walk in the park. He knows each one by smell. How do I know this?

Rocco plays with his balls constantly. Inevitably, they get lodged under the couch. When he wants one, he sticks his nose under the couch and whines. This means one of us has to get down on our belly and pull out the ball. What we discovered is that if we get the “wrong” ball, he continues to complain until we get the “right” one. Then he is a happy fellow.

He is very discerning as to who he likes. If you are on his good list, you get the pleasure of him scooting up next to you, laying his head in your lap and maybe even trying to get a hug from you, which entails all of his 90 pounds climbing into your lap. A rub behind the ears or belly rub, until your fingers fall off, is also welcomed.

Rocco has specific sleeping requirements. During the day, he will sleep on the floor, couch, bed or chair. But at night, everything changes. He still has that 9:30 pm thing. Although, he no longer runs around. He now, quietly disappears into my bedroom. If I don’t come in around 10 pm, he reappears in the living room, as if “What’s going on? It’s time for bed.” Then it’s bedtime. He starts the night put either at the foot of my bed or on the couch in my room. But as the night goes on, he wriggles his way under the blanket. Remember, this is a 90 pound dog. And if that isn’t enough, he spreads his paws out in front of him, thereby taking up half the bed. Depending on which way he has decided to spread his paws, my sleeping continues or is rudely disrupted. Ugh. Did you ever try to move a dead-weight 90 pound dog? I know I keep stressing his weight, but the largest dog I had before this weighed 12 pounds. I used to throw him in my purse and keep going.

I have more photos of Rocco than of my children. Albeit, he is with me all the time and my daughters live in their own apartments now. But, he is very photogenic and does the cutest things. He sits like a human with his tush on a pillow, lies on his back with his mouth open and tongue hanging out, sleeps holding on to a pillow and has a great smile. He poses with people, other dogs and, once, even a snapping turtle. Although, that was an impromptu pic. He has graced the screen saver on my phone. He is definitely part of my everyday life.

My daughter, remember the one who wanted this dog, who saved him from a shelter, has moved on. She went to college, came home and now lives in California. The dog remains with me, part of our New York family.

Rocco is fierce looking with marshmallow filling. He jumps for joy when I come home and stays close when my mood is low. I love him with all my heart, which at 90 pounds, a bed hogger and someone needing a playmate - is a good thing. He is my companion, nurse, therapist and best friend.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

THE STORM - WE WEATHERED IT (AND LIFE) TOGETHER

My daughter, who is living 3000 miles away texted me the other morning. There was a very bad storm with thunder and lightning. The house shook and she thought it might be an earthquake.

I was immediately taken back to when she was a little girl – around 3 years old. At the first sign of a storm, she would move closer. If there was a rumble of thunder or flash of lightening, she was hiding behind me or crawling under the covers in my bed. Followed by her sister and the dogs, we waited out the storm.

I was not a fan of thunder or lightning. But for my girls, I was the strong one. I would explain how if we watched for the flashes of light, we could predict the thunder, and determine how far away the storm was. The longer it took, the farther away the storm.

I was their protector, in their eyes and in mine. As a mother, I will always feel like I have to watch out for them. No matter how close or far, I will think about them, worry about their health, activities and choices, and provide guidance or advice when asked (and sometimes when not).

My daughters are not living at home anymore. One is several hours away and the other across the country. We talk and text often, sharing our daily lives and worries about the future. Sometimes I wish I could crawl into bed with them and make the storm pass. But like with nature, we have to deal with what comes our way.

Teaching my girls how to cope with life’s ups and downs has been one of my major goals as a parent. In this way, adoptive parenting is no different than raising children biologically connected. Life throws us perfect pitches and curve balls. Riding the highs, gliding throwing the everyday and traversing the lows is normal. How to know the hard times will pass is a skill, easier for those with a forgiving nature.

I have taught my daughters that while a perfect life would be nice, it is not realistic. Everyone struggles at times. Family and friends can get you through the roughest of moments. Walk away from toxic people and situations. Find those who support and love you, who have your best interests at heart and who will help you achieve your goals and your dreams.

Adoption was one of those situations for me. I found myself in difficult times and felt I would never be a mother. I was sad and saw my future without the children I so desired. I crawled under the covers and didn’t want to face the world. My family rallied around me, my real friends hung close. Slowly, I saw a path to reach my goal. With the support of those closest to me, I researched adoption. Every call led me to another person who wanted to help. Choosing carefully, I started the process with trepidation that it would work.   I inched forward.

Whether Dorothy in Oz or Kathy in New York, we recognized our demons and had the courage to pursue our dreams. And it worked. I became a mom. TWICE!! I fought the battle and was victorious.

Maybe I allowed my daughters to crawl under the covers for safety and security. Maybe they figured it out themselves. I know I was the one who taught them to peel back the blanket and look around. That the world had lots to offer. That they would only know if they took chances, tried new things and believed.  I weathered the storm, and now so are they.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She was on the Advisory Board for POV's Adoption Series and featured as the adoption expert on The Newlyweds series on Bravo. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, on the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001, Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

FAVORITE PLACES

Everyone has a favorite place that holds memories, provides promise or brings solace.

I love mornings in the country. We have a house on a lake in a family centered community. When my kids were young, everyone came down to the lakeside and spent the day. Kids would build sand castles when not in the lake swimming or wading. There was a snack bar with ice cream, hotdogs, burgers and chips. Parents would sit in circles and talk about the day’s events and week’s plans. The older adults would sit in a chatting circle in the shade of the trees.

With sport teams, other structured activities and the Internet, less and less families come to the lake now. There are bonfires and movie nights, with the racket ball court wall doubling as the screen. Some families use the area for private parties. With the younger kid’s playground and swings and slide for older kids, and lots of room to run and play ball, it is a perfect location. I’ve even used the area for an adoptive family get-together.

With everyone off doing their own thing, I love early mornings down by the lake. It’s a private oasis. Birds chirp and, if I am lucky, the doe wanders by with her babies. There is always a gentle breeze, even on the hottest of days. In the fall, the crisp air and golden leaves makes it a wonderland.

I do a lot of writing down by the lake.  I recall the days watching my kids learning to swim and taking the raft test, when they were older to permit them to swim outside of the roped area. There was a July 4^th potluck supper and Labor Day games with prizes for everyone. My family held annual reunions here for many years which included my daughters and other cousins who were adopted. So when I am down by the lake, I have a lot to think about and to celebrate.

On weekend mornings and during vacations you can find me and the dog enjoying the alone time. We play fetch, explore the foliage and enjoy one another’s company. After the hustle and bustle of weekday life in New York City, I love the quieter and peaceful atmosphere where I can think about loved ones I’ve lost and those I am thankful are in my life, and plan for the week ahead.

Where is your favorite place?? What memories and emotions does it evoke? Who is there with you or are you alone? Would you make any changes?

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program from March 1992 to March 2015. She is Head Writer for Adoption.net, member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and has a private practice in New York City. She was a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.