THANKSGIVING

Any holiday can bring back thoughts and memories of decisions made during an adoption process or sadness being childless at a family function. Some of you will be openly or silently giving thanks for your children, some will still be waiting and wishing for their family to grow and some will be wondering how their children are doing.

If you are reluctant to be with family, especially those with young children, give yourself time to make a plan. If you can, approach family or friends before the event and tell them how you feel and not to bring up your "waiting for a child" or ask questions about the adoption process. Ask one of them to be your "out" and provide an emotional escape, if someone starts asking you questions. They can simply divert the conversation or tell you "you are needed elsewhere".

One of my daughters made her appearance at the family Thanksgiving holiday gathering. Everyone had questions. I needed a nap.

Each year, I remember how long I waited and hoped for my daughters. I think of all the men and women, waiting to be parents, or making adoption plans. I wish I could make it easier for all of you. 

As Thanksgiving and the coming holidays approach, I remember those early days of motherhood - fearing it would never happen and avoiding holiday events. I remember the tiredness and not being able to stay awake to ring in the New Year.

My daughters are now 25 and 29. I love them deeply and my extended family and friends for never treating them differently. For asking what they wanted to know and accepting what they were told.

Thanksgivings are now filled with remembrances of my journey to be a parent, raising my daughters with adoption weaving in and out of our lives and the joy of being.

                                May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump.
                                May your potatoes ' n gravy have nary a lump.
                                May your yams be delicious. May your pies take the prize.
                                May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

ADOPTION CONFERENCE THIS SUNDAY IN BROOKLYN, NY

This Sunday is the Adoptive Parents Committee annual conference in Brooklyn. With over 80 sessions and a large exhibit hall, there is something for everyone, those looking to adopt, those already parenting and professionals (6.25 NY approved CE available).

I am delivering the keynote – THE JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTIVE PARENT, a session on ADOPTION HOMESTUDIES and will be available throughout the day to answer questions or help you decide what sessions to attend. In addition, Alliance For Children and Adoption Choices of New York, the agencies I work with (when an agency homestudy is required) will also be there.

Information on the conference can be seen at www.adoptiveparents.org. You can register on line or at the door on Sunday. Hope to see you there, but if you can't make it, feel free to contact me with any questions.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

ADOPTION CONFERENCE - SUNDAY 11/20/16 FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS, PARENTS TO BE and PROFESSIONALS

NYU School of Social Work and the Adoptive Parents Committee present the annual conference this coming Sunday at St, Francis College in Brooklyn, NY. This all day conference offers 80+ workshops and a large exhibit hall, where you can gather information and network.

Parents and Parents to Be:

It's $50 for the full day. Sessions cover how to adopt domestically and internationally,  working with attorneys and agencies, homestudies, medical issues, adoptive parenting and more. Meet agency representatives, attorneys and professionals ho can assist you in networking to find your child and evaluating referrals.

Professionals:

Its only $50 to register for the conference and $25 for the CEs. That's $12 a credit (an amazing deal). In addition, you will have the opportunity to network with everyone in the exhibit hall.

See the full day program at www.adoptiveparents.org

I am delivering the morning keynote, a homestudy session and will be in the exhibit hall throughout the day. Hope to see you there.


Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH 2016

Every November the United States celebrates adoptees, birth and adoptive families, professionals, government officials and advocacy groups call attention to building and strengthening families through adoption. The White House issues an annual Proclamation.

Over 30 years, I have observed adoptees struggle with decisions made on their behalf, while watching singles, couples, extended families and communities embrace children as they join families through adoption. 

Some of the conversation during this month is public. Your children may here varying view on adoption. Young children may misinterpret these views or begin to repeat what they hear. Older children may ask more questions or internally process what they are hearing. Take advantage of this month’s awareness of adoption and talk to your child. And, as they grow, children will continue to hear comments from the outside world, balanced against what you are telling them and how you answer their questions.  They deserve to know their history.

It has been my privilege to be part of so many adoptive journeys - from counseling birth parents to conducting adoptive homestudies for prospective parents, and helping adoptees, birth and adoptive parents and their extended families grapple with adoption and its impact on their lives. 

To my daughters, who joined my family through adoption - you made parenting a journey I will cherish forever. I love you both dearly. To their birth mothers – thank you for your amazing gift. I will never forget you and see you reflected in my daughters’ talents and individual characters everyday.

Adoption has and will remain an important part of who I am personally and professionally. It made my dream come true. But, while I believe each day, the world is more accepting of adoption, we still have a long way to go for total acceptance.

To the thousands of birth and adoptive families that have allowed me to be part of their journey, I am forever grateful. To those whom I will assist in the future, I look forward to our work together to make your dreams come true.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

ADOPTION CONFERENCE - SUNDAY 11-20-16 IN NYC

The Adoptive Parents Committee holds it's 36 annual conference for those considering adoption, adoptive families and professionals. The full day includes over 100 workshops (selected CEU sessions) and an extensive exhibit hall. Hope to see you there.

As the day's keynote presenter, I will be detailing the journey and life of the adoptive parent and talking about homestudies later in the day. 

www.adoptiveparents.org

--

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW

TheAdoptionMaven.blogspot.com

917-567-4935

WORTH EVERY PENNY

I didn't think pay phones existed in New York City anymore. But there it was. The second shocker was the 50 cent cost.

I will now age myself - I remember when pay phones were 10 cents, a bus or subway ride 15 (now it's $2.75) and a bakery roll 10 cents. I remember as a teen ager going for a Chinese lunch with a friend. It was 35 cents and a big splurge. We got soup, an entree, ice cream and a fortune cookie. School lunch was not much more. A tuna sandwich was 50 cents and came with chips and a cookie. Pizza and a soda was $1 for two people.

When I adopted my daughters, 25 and 29 years ago, Attorneys charged $3,000, homestudies were $400 and the total costs were predicted to be $6,000-20,000. Boy, how things have changed.

They say "children are priceless". But, those of us who adopted, can actually put a price tag on their heads - now often $20,000-50,000. Don't get me wrong - pregnancy and fertility treatments have costs, too. I just cannot believe how costs have risen. Then again, it has been over 25 years since I adopted my daughters.

I am a bargain hunter by nature. Why pay retail when you can get the exact product or service for less? Although, with my children, I never skimped. The girls got haircuts, manicures and pedicures. Their favorite foods were provided and restaurants visited. Now that they live out of the home, I have resorted to my more frugal days. Maybe I don't need as many things, but I find shopping doesn't hold the same place on my radar as it used to. And thank goodness - prices seem out of control.

But back to that subway pay phone. Thank goodness I don't have to use it. Cell phones now work in many NYC subway stations. And I’m not sure what I can do with that saved 50 cents. It won’t even buy what used to be penny candy.  And I don’t need the sugar. Get 10 minutes of drying time in my building's laundry room? Nothing dries in 10 minutes.

I actually hate talking about money. All I know is my daughters' adoptions were worth every penny.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

HAPPY NEW YEAR - L'SHANAH TOVAH

While many celebrate the new year on January 1^st, Jewish people celebrate Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) – this year October 2-4.

This is a time to not only celebrate, but to reflect on the choices we made the year before and plan for the year ahead, with bread and apples dipped in honey to signify the wish for a “sweet” year to come.

Those waiting to adopt often wish to leave their struggles to become a parent behind and look towards becoming a parent in the year to come. They reconsider their adoption options and question choices made. They wonder "if" they will adopt.

There is also a strong belief of “bashert” (the Yiddish term for “it was meant to be”). - that the right child has found the right parent(s). And so, they never give up and pursue their adoption jouney and dream of parenthood.

Whether your child has already found you or you are waiting for that special moment - L’shanah tovah to you and your family.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.