IT WAS ALL WORTH IT

It’s early in the morning and I am awake. The  only  times I have been up  at this hour before were  for  business  trips  and  of  course, when my girls were babies. I remember sitting in a darkened room listening to them sucking on a bottle. I remember being more tired than I had ever  remembered  yet  amazed  with  the  wondrous  miracle  that  I  had  become a mom – through adoption.

I had survived the planning, the homestudy and talking to and meeting women considering me to be the mother of their unborn child. I had gotten through all the legal steps of the adoption process including the court appearances. I was scared and worried but so happy when the judge allowed the adoption to be finalized. I was thrilled when the adoption decree and birth certificate arrived.

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But the actual parenting part was the best even though there were days I was tired beyond my wildest dreams and despite worrying if I could meet the expectations of everyone around me.  I was my toughest critic. Did I provide the best education to meet their individual needs? Were their passions fostered? Did they have positive social experiences? Were they happy?

Even now with my daughters 27 and 30, I still wonder if I am doing my best. I have two independent women exploring the world and all it has to offer. They have moved on – live far away from me, but always keep in touch. One is training horses, the other is helping people resolve financial commitments.

I am a proud mother who once again is up early and though they are no longer babies, I’m still thinking about my girls.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. Through her private practice and agency affiliations, she has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled expectant, birth, pre/post adoptive parents and adopted persons, as well as trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA and a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series and is currently a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood, Adoption Professional Advisory Council of HelpUSAdopt and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York. Her blogs and written contributions can be seen throughout the Internet, including her BLOG and as Head Writer for ADOPTION.NET  She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. You can reach her directly at EMAIL