YOU'RE MY BROTHER

Just love the new commercial where the little boy says ‘You’re not my adopted brother, you’re my brother”.  Had so many tears in my eyes, I couldn’t even remember what product was being advertised.

That’s the real story of adoption – brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, moms and dads.  Why do people have to put the word “adoption” in front of any of those labels?

Would anyone say “This is my IVF son?”. “I’d like to introduce my sister’s IUI baby.” “My nephew here was born using donor sperm.” I think not. They would say, here is my son, daughter, niece or nephew.

Not only do I think this is the way it should be, but my daughters, who were adopted, and who were brought up knowing that they were as valued, precious and loved as any child to whom I would have given birth.

I love hearing my girls explain why we don’t look alike with ease and confidence that people will “get it”. I was moved by this commercial, which I later discovered was for a beloved cracker - and again when my younger daughter told me she was crying over a commercial she had just seen.

Yes, we are a sensitive group. We cry at commercials, movies, TV shows and when leaving one another for long periods of time. I used to feel crying was a weakness. I now know it is because we feel so deeply.

There are shows, like “Mom” and “Mike & Molly” that include the adoption process from all angles. And while, they intersperse humor, are able to capture the gist of the process, the difficult decisions and consequences for birth and adoptive families. There are several new shows dedicated to “finding family” and “lost loves”.

TV has come a long way over the past years but has more to do to provide an honest inclusive view of adoption and other arrangements in families and society.  

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.