THE MAMA BEAR
I
was never one to speak out on my own behalf. But once my kids arrived – the
Mama Bear came out in me. No one messed with them. No one treated them as less
than. No one would ever make them feel “less than” because they were adopted.
.
I remember meeting an old colleague on the street when my kids, who were with
me, were about 4 and 7 years old. She said “I heard you adopted. Are these your
adopted kids?” I was caught off guard. How dare she be so bold. I looked at my
kids, whom I felt I needed to protect, and responded “Actually, I am their
adoptive mom.” She didn’t know what to say. I then said, something about sorry,
but we have somewhere to be and off we went.
Later
that night I spoke to the kids. I told them I had once worked with the woman,
but had not seen her in years. That I didn’t like the way she just came up to
me and asked about them. That I didn’t call them my “adopted” kids. They were
my kids. “forever and always”.
The
girls listened but seemed unaffected. Maybe they were too young to understand.
But I knew from that day forward I would have some planned answers. I would
know when to answer a specific question, educate someone on adoption, state the
information was private, or just walk away.
I
remain a Mama Bear and it has paid off. I see my daughters standing up for
themselves. Not just with adoption, but in so many other ways. This Mama Bear
is a proud mama.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is
a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She
has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and
parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families.
She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption
in 2001 and has a private practice in New
York City
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