ADOPTION CONFERENCE THIS SUNDAY IN BROOKLYN, NY

This Sunday is the Adoptive Parents Committee annual conference in Brooklyn. With over 80 sessions and a large exhibit hall, there is something for everyone, those looking to adopt, those already parenting and professionals (6.25 NY approved CE available).

I am delivering the keynote – THE JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTIVE PARENT, a session on ADOPTION HOMESTUDIES and will be available throughout the day to answer questions or help you decide what sessions to attend. In addition, Alliance For Children and Adoption Choices of New York, the agencies I work with (when an agency homestudy is required) will also be there.

Information on the conference can be seen at www.adoptiveparents.org. You can register on line or at the door on Sunday. Hope to see you there, but if you can't make it, feel free to contact me with any questions.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

ADOPTION CONFERENCE - SUNDAY 11/20/16 FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS, PARENTS TO BE and PROFESSIONALS

NYU School of Social Work and the Adoptive Parents Committee present the annual conference this coming Sunday at St, Francis College in Brooklyn, NY. This all day conference offers 80+ workshops and a large exhibit hall, where you can gather information and network.

Parents and Parents to Be:

It's $50 for the full day. Sessions cover how to adopt domestically and internationally,  working with attorneys and agencies, homestudies, medical issues, adoptive parenting and more. Meet agency representatives, attorneys and professionals ho can assist you in networking to find your child and evaluating referrals.

Professionals:

Its only $50 to register for the conference and $25 for the CEs. That's $12 a credit (an amazing deal). In addition, you will have the opportunity to network with everyone in the exhibit hall.

See the full day program at www.adoptiveparents.org

I am delivering the morning keynote, a homestudy session and will be in the exhibit hall throughout the day. Hope to see you there.


Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH 2016

Every November the United States celebrates adoptees, birth and adoptive families, professionals, government officials and advocacy groups call attention to building and strengthening families through adoption. The White House issues an annual Proclamation.

Over 30 years, I have observed adoptees struggle with decisions made on their behalf, while watching singles, couples, extended families and communities embrace children as they join families through adoption. 

Some of the conversation during this month is public. Your children may here varying view on adoption. Young children may misinterpret these views or begin to repeat what they hear. Older children may ask more questions or internally process what they are hearing. Take advantage of this month’s awareness of adoption and talk to your child. And, as they grow, children will continue to hear comments from the outside world, balanced against what you are telling them and how you answer their questions.  They deserve to know their history.

It has been my privilege to be part of so many adoptive journeys - from counseling birth parents to conducting adoptive homestudies for prospective parents, and helping adoptees, birth and adoptive parents and their extended families grapple with adoption and its impact on their lives. 

To my daughters, who joined my family through adoption - you made parenting a journey I will cherish forever. I love you both dearly. To their birth mothers – thank you for your amazing gift. I will never forget you and see you reflected in my daughters’ talents and individual characters everyday.

Adoption has and will remain an important part of who I am personally and professionally. It made my dream come true. But, while I believe each day, the world is more accepting of adoption, we still have a long way to go for total acceptance.

To the thousands of birth and adoptive families that have allowed me to be part of their journey, I am forever grateful. To those whom I will assist in the future, I look forward to our work together to make your dreams come true.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

ADOPTION CONFERENCE - SUNDAY 11-20-16 IN NYC

The Adoptive Parents Committee holds it's 36 annual conference for those considering adoption, adoptive families and professionals. The full day includes over 100 workshops (selected CEU sessions) and an extensive exhibit hall. Hope to see you there.

As the day's keynote presenter, I will be detailing the journey and life of the adoptive parent and talking about homestudies later in the day. 

www.adoptiveparents.org

--

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW

TheAdoptionMaven.blogspot.com

917-567-4935

WORTH EVERY PENNY

I didn't think pay phones existed in New York City anymore. But there it was. The second shocker was the 50 cent cost.

I will now age myself - I remember when pay phones were 10 cents, a bus or subway ride 15 (now it's $2.75) and a bakery roll 10 cents. I remember as a teen ager going for a Chinese lunch with a friend. It was 35 cents and a big splurge. We got soup, an entree, ice cream and a fortune cookie. School lunch was not much more. A tuna sandwich was 50 cents and came with chips and a cookie. Pizza and a soda was $1 for two people.

When I adopted my daughters, 25 and 29 years ago, Attorneys charged $3,000, homestudies were $400 and the total costs were predicted to be $6,000-20,000. Boy, how things have changed.

They say "children are priceless". But, those of us who adopted, can actually put a price tag on their heads - now often $20,000-50,000. Don't get me wrong - pregnancy and fertility treatments have costs, too. I just cannot believe how costs have risen. Then again, it has been over 25 years since I adopted my daughters.

I am a bargain hunter by nature. Why pay retail when you can get the exact product or service for less? Although, with my children, I never skimped. The girls got haircuts, manicures and pedicures. Their favorite foods were provided and restaurants visited. Now that they live out of the home, I have resorted to my more frugal days. Maybe I don't need as many things, but I find shopping doesn't hold the same place on my radar as it used to. And thank goodness - prices seem out of control.

But back to that subway pay phone. Thank goodness I don't have to use it. Cell phones now work in many NYC subway stations. And I’m not sure what I can do with that saved 50 cents. It won’t even buy what used to be penny candy.  And I don’t need the sugar. Get 10 minutes of drying time in my building's laundry room? Nothing dries in 10 minutes.

I actually hate talking about money. All I know is my daughters' adoptions were worth every penny.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

HAPPY NEW YEAR - L'SHANAH TOVAH

While many celebrate the new year on January 1^st, Jewish people celebrate Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) – this year October 2-4.

This is a time to not only celebrate, but to reflect on the choices we made the year before and plan for the year ahead, with bread and apples dipped in honey to signify the wish for a “sweet” year to come.

Those waiting to adopt often wish to leave their struggles to become a parent behind and look towards becoming a parent in the year to come. They reconsider their adoption options and question choices made. They wonder "if" they will adopt.

There is also a strong belief of “bashert” (the Yiddish term for “it was meant to be”). - that the right child has found the right parent(s). And so, they never give up and pursue their adoption jouney and dream of parenthood.

Whether your child has already found you or you are waiting for that special moment - L’shanah tovah to you and your family.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.

HELICOPTER MOM

I admit it.  I'm a helicopter parent. I watched my kids like a hawk - where they went and with whom. 

This is NYC where you know your neighbors by sight and perhaps their schedules, passing one another in the elevator, but not much about their backgrounds.  Where kids use public transportation. 

I never understood neighbors sending kids as young as 5 alone in the elevator to come up for a play date or to the store or school alone by the age of 8. 

I was always vigilant but it became even more pronounce after 9/11. It was my older daughter’s first day of high school. New surroundings and new peers. She got her first cell phone that week so we could stay in touch.

Today I had a flashback. A mother boarded a city bus with her child, who must have been around 4 years old, walking behind her. The driver started to close the door not seeing the little girl. Everyone was fine. But my kids always walked beside me or in front of me. Holding hands or in hands reach. Always in sight. 

My daughters gained more independence as they grew - earning my trust and their freedom.   I asked them to respect my need to know where they were. If they planned to be with particular friends or in a specific location and plans changed - to just text me the changes. Someone should know where they were and I assumed that task by default. 

Now they live independently. Do I still worry? Absolutely. Is it to control their lives? No. It’s to make sure they are safe and sound. 

To this day I still like to know where those closest to me are. The girls, my mom, sister and close friends. We stay in touch, even using texts. I am reassured knowing everyone is safe. 

Would I be like this if I lived elsewhere? Yes. It's my personality to worry. 

I remember worrying through my adoption processes so many years ago. Some days were tough and had me wondering if I would ever be a parent. I think about clients who have a tough time with the adoption process. Whether collecting documents for the initial meeting, preparing to talk to birth parents, despairing that no one is calling or that the relationship is a tough one or traveling and waiting for the approval to come back home - I wait to hear from them that all is well. 

My concern (and worry) comes from a good place. To see others safe, happy and successful in their ventures. Whether family, friends or clients - I will listen, do what I can and provide guidance on steps that they can take. When I say "I am here for you", I mean it. 

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.