Saturday, May 14, 2016

BIRTH MOTHER'S DAY

Mother's Day and Birth Mother's Day have many thinking about the women that made parenting possible. There were women making a brave and loving decision to provide what they saw as a better life for their child. There were women (and men) waiting with open hearts and arms to love and cherish a child. 

This time of year, with reminders of the holidays, there are opportunities to talk about adoption and answer questions from children. Talking about how your family was formed and helping your child understand their history is part of parenting. 

If you have contact with your child's birthmother, think of ways to include her in the conversation. If you don't have contact with your child's birthmother, there are still ways for you and your child express your thoughts. You you can write a card and send it through the attorney or agency that helped you adopt. You can tie a message to a helium balloon and release it into the universe. You can journal. You can bake a cake and celebrate the adoption.

These conversations provide you an opportunity to know what your child is thinking. It allows you to express your feelings about the adoption process and being an adoptive parent. Discussing adoption will deepen your child's awareness and understanding of who they are. These dialogues will deepen the bond you and your child share. 

To all the mothers out there, by birth or adoption, I wish you a day of memories that will bring you peace and hopes and dreams for the future.

Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a New York and New Jersey licensed social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has prepared thousands of adoption homestudies, counseled adoptive parents and parents-to-be, and has trained professionals to work with adoptive families. She was Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA from March 1992 to March 2015, was Head Writer for Adoption.net, a member of the Advisory Board for POV’s Adoption Series She is currectly a member of the Adoption Advisory Board of Path2Parenthood and active in the Adoptive Parents Committee in New York, where she has a private practice specializing in adoption and adoptive parenting. She was named an “Angel in Adoption” by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption in 2001. Follow or reach her at ADOPTION MAVEN BLOG or EMAIL.